The Shower Free Bride

Back when I asked my bridesmaids to be in our wedding party, I told them that I simply wanted them to show up, wear a pretty dress, and have a great time at our wedding.  I didn't want them planning a bridal shower or bachelorette party for me.

While I love a good party and can admire beautiful images from bridal showers on event blogs like everyone else, I had a few reasons for not wanting those events for myself.

Event styling by Amy Atlas Events / From OnceWed 

First of all, I didn't want being a bridesmaid to be full of obligatory duties.  While I have loved being a bridesmaid in the past, there were times when the roll seemed to come with a fairly lengthy list of chores.

My bridesmaids are busy women with active lives.  All are married, one is a stay at home mom, and the other two have jobs that require a bit of travel.  My Maid of Honor is a colleague, so I'm well aware of the demands on her schedule.  I put myself in my bridesmaids' shoes and decided that planning a shower would be a bit of a burden and be logistically difficult since only one lives in Charlottesville. Once our wedding is over, I want my bridesmaids to look back on their role fondly, not be relieved that they're done with it.

The other reason that I didn't want showers or a bachelorette party is that I don't feel like I have time for them.  I think back to how life seemed for friends who got married years ago and I'm a little jealous. They seemed to be pretty focused on their weddings.  While I'm obviously paying a lot of attention to our wedding as a Weddingbee blogger, the wedding is not my top priority right now. At this time of year, I work pretty crazy hours and I fit wedding projects in on weekends, after I've gotten some work done.  I can't imagine pushing my work off to attend a shower during my busy season. 

Event styling by Amber Karson Events / Photo from Hostess With the Mostess
There are times when I feel like I'm running a marathon and the only respite will come when we pass through security at the airport, on the way to our honeymoon. I'm enjoying the planning process, but I definitely wish my plate wasn't as full so I had a little more time to enjoy myself.

Is anyone else juggling a demanding job and wedding planning?  How are you prioritizing?  Did you forgo a shower or bachelorette party because of your schedule?


  1. I didn't have a wedding shower either.  I insisted I didn't want one when it was brought up to me.  What a snoozefest, and as a 32 year old I have everything I need.  I did have one when I got married the first time (at age 24) and I think once you have one, that's it.  I'm dreading my baby shower, but that one was non-negotiable with the moms! 

  2. i sooo hear you.  i felt so much like this when we married three years ago.  and since i waited until i was thirty i knew all too well how much of a pain it could be to be a bridesmaid.  i didn't want that for anyone else!

  3. When did all these things become "effort"?  What ever happened to simplicity?  A shower used to be some friends/relatives getting together for some simple food and drink with presents for the bride.  Sometimes we played some cutesy games (not my favorite thing)  or if it was a church group did some Bible readings or verses to inspire.  No one dreaded going to or giving one.  I long for the good ole days.  And don't get me started on bachelorette parties/weekends!!!!    Oh, and then there is the financial burden on the guests!


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