On Relinquishing Control

The newly engaged woman usually dips her toe into wedding planning waters with excitement.  She's soon knee deep though, with to-do lists showing hundreds of past due tasks awaiting her on wedding planning websites and shelves of binders and organizers waiting for her at the bookstore.  Everywhere she looks, there are subtle and not-so-subtle messages that she's supposed to be controlling every detail associated with her wedding.

I have definitely been of the "control everything" mindset for months now, but during my last meeting with floral designers Pat Roberts and Sherry Spencer of Pat's Floral Design, I turned a big corner.  I realized that I hired these talented, creative, thoughtful women and I totally trusted them.  I didn't feel the need to discuss every petal and stem that would be part of our wedding.  I felt completely at ease relinquishing control. 

We were finalizing my flower proposal at this meeting.  The tables at our reception will have a mix of large arrangements and ones that will consist of a few items clustered together.  As Sherry rotated vessels in and out of a mock up of the cluster arrangement, I remember feeling like they had really explored a slew of options and I didn't have to worry too much about this anymore.  They knew my favorite elements (peonies, silver brunia berries, and dusty miller).  They knew my color scheme. I voiced a few opinions, but knew that Pat and Sherry would take care of this for me and put together beautiful arrangements.

I'm not sure if everyone feels this way, but realizing that I fully trust these highly competent women to design beautiful flowers for our wedding has my focus shifting.  Instead of fixating on controlling every little detail, I've stated to focus on the big picture.  We're getting married!  The day doesn't hinge on the exactly perfect color of peony (though it sure is fun to look at pretty peonies).  When the day is done, if we are married and our guests enjoyed themselves, it will have been a successful day. 

Who knew that a meeting about flowers could bring about such a dramatic change in perspective?  I'm so thankful to Pat and Sherry for getting me to this point.

Was there a time in your planning when you stopped worrying about details and started looking at the big picture?  Did you have an especially wonderful vendor who helped you with that?


  1. A couple of months before my wedding,I was painstakingly creating place card menus and programs with embossed covers and and I realized that no one but me would know the hours I spent doing this but everyone would know I got married so I should concentrate on that.  Ironically, years later a friend of my told me she loved all my "wedding paper" so maybe it was all worth it.

  2. Amanda- Hip House GirlAugust 5, 2013 at 3:28 PM

    I'm so glad you're getting to this point. Of course, as it gets closer there will always be new little things to obsess over, but it's so nice knowing that most of the details are in competent hands. Especially since you have a DOC. I think I would get one of those if I had it to do over again. Everything is looking gorgeous!

  3. Are you going to nix the table numbers? They seem really disproptionate in relation to the centerpieces or are your centerpieces going to be bigger? How are they tying in your colors to the table setting? Are you using the ivory table linen?


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