Wedding Wednesday: Did you ever want to elope?

When you start planning a wedding, people tell you that at some point, you'll entertain the thought of eloping. I heard that a few times and laughed it off. I didn't think I'd ever feel that way. Until last night.

Wedding planning is a drain on every resource you can imagine. Aside from the financial cost (don't let anyone tell you planning a Friday wedding gets you discounts from vendors...we haven't seen a single one yet), the investment of time, energy, and brain space takes a tremendous toll. Opportunity cost is a constant thought.

Last night, I found myself thinking about what has to happen between now and next June and I wonder how we are going to handle it all.

It doesn't help that I picked up our wedding bands last week. They're gorgeous! It seems sad to put their boxes under lock and key when they look so pretty on our fingers.


  1. Eloping never crossed my mind initially, probably because I'm the only girl out of the four of us, but Bernard wanted to elope from the very beginning. His parents eloped, as did his brother and sister-in-law. In his family, for some reason, weddings aren't important and there was quite a bit of pressure from them not to have a wedding. They couldn't understand why it was important to me and even made me feel at times that I felt I was better than them and said it was ridiculous to have a wedding after being together 6 years because it was as if we were already married. Don't get me wrong, they are wonderful and kind people, but they have their crazy beliefs and ideas and it got pretty uncomfortable. That was the first time I actually considered eloping.

    I never wanted a large wedding, nor could we afford one, so we kept it small at a little over 60 people. We only invited parents, aunts/uncles, first cousins and our closest friends. No aquaintances and no children. It still ended up costing twice as much as we initially budgeted for even with cutting corners in some areas to spend a little more in others. When it was all said and done we had an incredible day that was so special to us, several of Bernard's Aunts and Uncles came up to us and said they were happy we decided to have a wedding, everyone had a wonderful time and I'm glad we did it. But if I'm being completely truthful, the honeymoon was the best part and I would have rather gone away for a month. :)

  2. I eloped and then had a wedding. Something about already being married took all the pressure off and made not only the planning, but also the entire event so much more FUN! Plus, we had this special little secret (since we didn't tell anyone we'd eloped aside from the minister who ultimately "married" us 9 months later....) of course, the wedding bands had to stay in their little boxes, but that was okay, it was worth the wait. (PLUS we immediately got a discount on our insurance, to the tune of $1500 which helped with the wedding planning expenses) Food for thought.

  3. My sister was beginning plans for a huge wedding. The planning, cost, and stress just became absurd, so she and her fiance decided last month to "quasi-elope". They are having a wedding Memorial Day weekend at the historical courthouse in Fairfax City, then having a reception for 40 people at a local, small, family-owned restaurant which was thrilled to accommodate her on short notice. The planning is already done and I think she is so relieved. Now all she has to do it look forward to the special day. Our parents actually eloped; my dad spontaneously proposed one night at Krispy Kreme donuts and they got married the next morning. They have now been married for 32 years and are truly happy together, so we have a good family history of successful off the cuff weddings!

  4. Yep! Everyone loves to tell you "It's YOUR special day, do what YOU want." That's simply not true for us, which is fine- I'm happy to make my family happy, and I know we'll end up having a blast. But if it truly was for US, we would go to the courthouse and then invite everyone to a dinner or bbq. We would've done it months ago, too. :) But in reality we're planning the wedding, which will be really fun, and we're trying to plan it in a way that will please as many people as possible (we're pretty good at being easygoing).

    Despite all the stress, (or maybe because of it- it will make us appreciate the big day more) our weddings are going to be wonderful.

  5. Well speaking as a divorcee, while I was planning the wedding, I didn't really want to elope.  But, now that I've already been through it once, and spent so much money and had soooo many headaches...if did it again, I would totally elope.  Actually, I take that back, I would do a destination wedding just for my immediate family.  However, you will see how worth it it all is and you are going to have an amazing wedding! Don't worry, you're almost there! 

  6. I've definitely felt that! A few weeks ago, when sending another deposit check, I got overwhelmed by the cost of it all. But my fiance reminded me that we were within the budget and we would enjoy ourselves on the actual day, plus being surrounded by our family and friends. I'm not down on elopements at all, but unless they're the totally right choice for you, it's not just an escape.

    So glad to hear about other people experiencing this kind of anxiety though!


Post a Comment

This comment format is not supported. Please refresh and use the Disqus box!

Popular Posts